Where Are You - J. Roman feat. Soluna.

Stolen from Miss Lexa Balisalisa:
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"You were made to be loved... and sincerely I have loved you, the thought of you, my life long given from Him and Him alone."

To my future whomever he may be,

Lately, my mind and my heart have been filled with thoughts of you and the family that we will one day share. I wonder where you are and what you are doing. Are you dating someone? Relationships have become so pressure-filled haven't they? Guys and girls alike treat dating as if they were married, expecting an instant commitment and sometimes even sleeping together. Nowadays it's easier to share your body than it is your soul. How sad that we are taught even in grade school to share our bodies with the opposite sex, but not our hearts or our souls. It's completely backwards, isn't it?

The temptations we face are real and I know how hard it can be to stay pure. I've been tempted too, but then I think of how I want our wedding night to be perfect. Maybe that's why I wanted to write you, to tell you that I am real. At some point in our future, He will let our paths cross, and we will eventually spend our lives together in marriage. It would seem a shame to go into our marriage with the baggage that past relationships bring.

That quote that I put at the top of the page- I mean it. Think about it. He, God, made you- to be loved by me- unconditionally. And that's how I promise to love you. Where you have been before today, well... that's all in the past, and that's where it should stay. Maybe you had no idea that I was here. But now you know, and how you live your life from today forward matters to me a great deal.

To a lot of people it may seem completely crazy that I'm asking you to think of our future. They'd tell you to live for the moment. I'm all for living for the present, but thinking about the future can help you avoid decisions that may alter your future- our future. I want you to experience life, travel, figure out who you are, go to the moon if you want. Take advantage of this time in your life to learn everything that you can from Him of course. That will only make our marriage stronger. Just don't jeopardize us.

Becoming a man can be difficult. Some guys try to earn their manhood by compromising their values. Sex before marriage won't make you a man. It will only serve to keep you a little boy who can't control himself. That's not the kind of guy that I want or deserve. I need a man who won't compromise his family but will put the Lord first- even before he meets me; a man whose strength lies in God alone. His virtue, his character, and his abilities must be an example at work, at play, and most importantly in our home. A real man who knows how to love completely- with his mind, heart, body and soul. That may sound like a lot to ask of you, but it will all be worth it. HE would not make us settle for anything less.

You need to know that I am waiting for you. If there is one thing that I have learned from past dating experiences, it's that you are worth waiting for. My heart, mind, soul and body, in HIS will of course, were made for you. We will complete each other in the most profoundly beautiful way imaginable.

From today forward, are you going to wait for me? Like I said, where you have been is in the past, but where you are going will affect our marriage. I need to know that you have learned self-control. I need to know that you think I am worth waiting for. I need to know that you are a man who respects and cherishes woman- all woman. The girl you are dating right now, or are going to date soon, may be someone else's future wife, and I need to know that you respect and understand that.

Real love is not a temporary feeling or emotion. Emotions and feelings change, sometimes daily. But true, unconditional love is constant. Please read this often. Think of me often. I'm thinking and praying for you. I can't wait to meet you. I can't wait to spend my life loving you.

Until then,
Your future wife

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Love Story - Taylor Swift.

johnny cash and june carter.

as individual artists, as human beings, as christians, as a couple: these two are so inspiring. johnny and june lead their own, strong, individual lives apart from each other, and yet they could find the strength in themselves to be vulnerable and accountable for the other. -- you're probably thinking, what? you don't have to be strong to be in a relationship; in fact, it's usually the opposite! -- but no, it takes strength to break your own pride, be selfless & allow yourself to love another. its a hard task & responsibility, but june carter was able to do that with johnny cash, and i would like to have her courage and be in a relationship like theirs one day.

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I wrote that above excerpt on my MySpace "Who I'd Like to Meet" and it got me thinking.

Sometimes I feel like I was born in the wrong era. I'm a girl, yes; I'm independent, yes. But what ever happened to girls wearing dresses everyday? Or boys being gentlemen? What happened to marriage & love being more important than money & careers?

It makes me wonder, sometimes, about this generation. Is God's existence really ceasing this much? To the point of women forgetting their roles of being submissive to their husbands, and husbands being too lazy [yet controlling] to provide for their families?

At the same time, maybe that's why I am in this era. Maybe God can use me to be the light to shine it all back. To bring hope back into relationships and love.

As hard as it seems to be to believe, marriage isn't supposed to end in divorce. Yes, I understand 50% of marriages in America today do, but that doesn't mean it has to be like that for everyone.

If you're good with God, God will bless you with someone else. Someone you can be there for and help in their lives. And vice versa. God doesn't want you to be alone. He wants you to have someone and to be happy in your love triangle [i - God - you]. (Gen. 2:18)

<3

Sun - Mae.

Why won't you just let this be your sun?

" I don't want someone because I'm scared for the ending.

I'm scared to fall in love again. Open up completely ..

& then, just get s h u t  o u t. "

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God, I'm scared. I'm scared to be vulnerable. I'm scared to not be in control. I'm scared of rejection. I'm scared of commitment. I'm scared of the uncertainty. I'm scared of not knowing. For the first time in my life, I don't know what to do. I don't have a plan. I don't even know what's gonna happen for the rest of the day, the rest of the week, the rest of the year.. and that is so new to me.

God, I'm so sick of myself. It hurts when I doubt You. It hurts when I don't believe You. It hurts when I don't let You work. It hurts that I'm hindering Your Kingdom from growing.. Because I know it hurts You more.

God, I give You full control. I give You everything, for Your glory. You deserve that and so much more, but it's all I have to offer. And I want You to have it.. all. It's so new and I have no idea what to do next, but rid me of myself, I belong to You, God. "If that's what it takes to praise You, Jesus bring the rain." I know You're here with me, guiding me, never leaving my side. Use me, Father God, for Your Kingdom's growth and glory;  Not for [[my parents', my teachers', my friends', or even]] my own. Lord, I offer my life to You.

Help me overcome my unbelief (Mk. 9:24). I think I'm actually scared to be happy; to be really, truly happy. I think I'm scared of the thought that someone might actually love me back.. someone in addition to You; someone else.. who's concrete. And God, I don't think I can handle it; I don't think I know how to handle it.. I think I'm scared to have my happy ending.

But God, I put my life in Your hands, in Your control. You know me better than I know myself; You know what I truly want, what I truly need, what I'm truly ready for. So if You think I'm ready to love and be accountable for another, then I trust You. 

God, I love You. For loving me despite everything; despite my doubts, despite me turning away, despite my settling for lower standards.  For not giving up on me.  For trusting me still with Your will. For seeing the best in me when I don't. For reassuring me and pushing me to NOT settle for less. For being the One my heart longs for. For completing my puzzle.

God, I just want You to be happy. So please use me to help You accomplish Your happiness.

<3